Thinking of you always dad, i don't think i can ever forgive you for leaving me so early. I know why you left so early. Only took me 16 years to finally piece it together. I'm now going through it myself and could really use a hug man. 😔 I have no idea how to be a man or a parent. Both things I imagine you could of taught me. I have nobody to turn to, nobody to just sit with, nobody to just conversate with. I just sit in a darkroom majority of days and pray my life away. I have no more drive left, I'm 26 and still nowhere in life. Last thing you'd of wanted is to witness a failure of a son. I couldn't even keep in contact with Ian or Angel for you, your other 2 children. I'm supposed to be the older brother? I failed at that too. James is doing really well though, you would be so proud of him im sure. I know I am. Worst part is James has accomplished everything he's done under the exact same circumstance as me, I just clearly was not cut out for this. Just feeling like a dead weight clinging onto my family if you want the truth dad. See you soon fella xx

happy birthday uncle Ian i miss you very much and hope i will see you and grandad in the near future love Livvy Mae xxx